Just getting started... my background: I'm an ex-ex-gay.

(Started at opensalon, but was told they would have rights to my blogs and to edit it without permission).

Hello blogger world. I'm Angela, 25, with a B.A. in Biblical Studies. People expect me to be conservative with the fact that I'm from South Mississippi and went to a baptist college, but I don't exactly fit into the mold for this area. I love to discuss faith, the bible, politics, and other issues similar to these. I tend to piss people off with the little bit of biblical knowledge I have, and the fact that I view scripture differently. I try to live a life of love, but it's so easy to get angry when people attack you for your beliefs or the way you live your life.

Lucky for me, I wasn't raised in a strict, religious home. Sure, my mom took me to Sunday school every so often, but if I didn't want to go, it wasn't a big deal. (This later came back to bite me in the ass when I enrolled in biblical studies with zero knowledge of the basics.)

Fast foward through awkward child years, and at 15-years-old, I fell in love with my best friend. Then there is my mom freaking out, my brothers not wanting me around my nieces, the straight friend who I am in love with making me her slave, the teachers and principal going against me, and the gay bashing from Christian kids... as I got older, I was able to get into gay clubs although I was underage, dated, got heartbroken, tried to make myself straight by dating guys and making-out... you name it.

After graduation I somehow found God, and was told I had to be straight to be a Christian. I forced myself to be something I wasn't because I loved God, but I became the most angry fundamentalist you would ever meet. If I had to change my life to be a Christian, than by God, everyone else who didn't meet my standards were going to burn in hell! I wound up getting with the first guy who came along, went through my dad having a stroke (which humbled my fundamentalist nature) and went through a dark depression. During this time my fiance (yep, got engaged!) began abusing me. After a year, I wouldn't let him anymore and got loose of his brainwashing and got in college. Went into English, but became interested in biblical studies. Finally left the fiance when he was trying to hold me back, and I became a youth minister. Got run off from said position after they found out I used to be gay. Went through a year of transition, lost my Christian friends because I didn't play the part or fit the mold, and after much prayer, found my place again. I decided it was better to be who I am than to live a lie.

I'm still in a spiritual and job transition, but I'm finally at peace after a year of spiritual turmoil and seven years of being "ex-gay". It feels good to be myself again...